News update from Up North

Nothing notable or hugely interesting has happened this week,apart from being hideously and constantly busy.
Chefs latest pearl of wisdom this afternoon was:I know now what it must have been like to be on the slave ships;intense heat and sleep deprivation.Nice.

I think he was feeling the aftermath of yesterday,we hosted three events back to back.
A wedding(which went swimmingly and without a hitch),see cake below,I think it turned out quite well but I'm not sure if I'm a bit of a traditionalist.What do you think?




A "golfers" do which turned out to be actually a rugby tour of young 20 something jocks,Scots.Best quip from one of their party:Oh so glad you're OK,I know Rothbury's only a short distance away.Mildly amusing the first time we heard it but wore thin after a time.
We suspected the booking wasn't as it purported when one of the party arrived dressed in a sequin frock and Dolly Parton inspired wig.Together with the vuvuzela they brought along you could say it wasn't the usual clientèle you would expect in a genteel country pub.Especially when the rendition of Queen hits kicked off..

The booking had been made quite some time ago but earlier in the week we had been called and informed that all 25 of them would be having steak and chips.Hmmm said chef I wouldn't have taken the booking if Id known they were only having a main course.(We are usually fully booked on a Friday and most people don't just come in and have one course)
Self:Yes but we've never excluded anyone just because they're not spending enough. (I'm far too kind)
So the booking went ahead.

The room was devastated.Grilled tomatoes and sticky drinks spillages all over my lovely wooden floor.Hey ho, no permanent damage though.

The room was quickly reset for the last function of the day.The footballers presentation.Just a local team but they meet at the pub every Friday night.
Surprise, surprise yours truly was unexpectedly presented with an award:
The Zaira nara top WAG award.I would like to claim Zaira and me share an uncanny likeness, but sadly that's not the case.Not the type of award I would normally covet but gratefully accepted anyway.Its nice to be appreciated.I'm still basking in the glory today....



and admiring the lovely bouquet I was presented with.

And all this on top of our normal daily business!

Finally,I had to share with you this lovely picture of the two pigeon chicks which have just hatched outside our kitchen window..don't they look like ducks??



Time permitting, I'll be posting my planned item tomorrow which includes some goss on the Sol Campbell/Barrett wedding and also a review!

The day Kate Moss dropped by...

Last Friday night,as one of our regulars chatted to Chef at the bar, he casually bemoaned the fact that his usual and much anticipated leisurely Saturday afternoon pint and browse of the papers must be forgone this week. Annoyingly,his presence was required elsewhere,namely helping out (in his capacity as husband of one of the leading lights of the PTA) at our local village primary school fete.

Come Saturday lunchtime, the weather was glorious,perfect for enjoying a relaxing cool beer in the garden,a fact which Chef duly noted and which prompted the cheeky little message which he subsequently sent to said regular:

Kate Moss is drinking Mojitos in the garden.

To which said regular replied:

Really????

There then followed a quite lengthy delay prior to Chefs next message response.This was due to the high volume of orders which rapidly backed up in the kitchen.At times such as this,there is no opportunity to check ones phone for messages,let alone respond.

This delay proved crucial in the unforeseen events which unfolded.

It was two further hours before Chefs next response:

Covent Garden....


Come early evening,said regular arrived at the pub in good spirits(tasks satisfactorily completed),ready for a well earned beer and some craic.Light heartedly,he informed Chef that by the time he'd received the message "Covent Garden" he had already spread the word amongst most of the parents at the school Fete regarding our surprise celebrity visitor.The story had gained momentum throughout the course of the afternoon. (So much so that one of our staff arriving at work the following Monday,informed us that two of her friends had actually spoken to Kate Moss in the garden last Saturday....)

At this point,Chef related the story to me.
Self:OMG what if it makes the local paper??
Don't be stupid-if it does we'll just deny all knowledge...haven't you heard of "no comment"...

As a food led pub,our bar takings are always reasonably predictable.Obviously, there's a bit of variation depending on outside influences such as the weather,but the food till is undoubtedly the "cash cow".

Later that night as Fagin Chef totted up the days takings his eyes gleamed mischievously..

Mmmm the bar was busy today.

Self:Ah yes, it was a really lovely afternoon.

Nothing to do with the fact Kate Moss was in the garden then??


Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. ~John Lennon

I couldn't help but think that sometimes the line between reality and hype is really fuzzy....

These events highlighted some important issues:

a.The impact of social media as an immediate and powerful marketing tool(Ah- but you knew that anyway,didn't you?)

b.Were takings at the annual school fundraising event inexplicably and disappointingly low????(Note to self:make more generous donation next year)

lastly and most importantly:

c.WTF was Kate Moss doing drinking cocktails in a provincial pub garden????


As its some years now since I graduated from Cocktail school,I thought Id better brush up on my technique.After all,you never know who might drop by next weekend...


The perfect Mojito

You will need:
Fresh mint(plenty of it)
White rum
Sugar syrup
Fresh limes
Sparkling water or soda

The original Cuban recipe called for spearmint but any mint is fine as long as its fresh.We used apple mint as we have a humongous plant growing in the garden.
First, make some sugar syrup using 2 parts sugar to one part water,heat to dissolve then allow to cool.You can store this in the fridge and use as needed.
Bruise some mint leaves in the bottom of a sturdy glass and add some sugar syrup.Add the white rum,some fresh lime juice and top up with sparkling water and plenty of ice.Stir vigorously.Garnish with mint sprigs and a wedge of lime.
I haven't specified exact quantities as that defies the point,its best thrown together spontaneously(in the Cuban manner) and to your own taste!



Chin,chin!

PS Whilst drinking these I strongly recommend you listen to anything Alex Cuba.I particularly like this tune.

Ordering "off menu"

The majority of customers eat from the menu.They book a table,turn up on time and order from the list of options presented to them.

However,if one intends to run a successful food business,then some degree of flexibility is required.For example;diners with food allergies or medical conditions which I wrote about here.Or, as we don't provide a children's menu,offering smaller portions or improvising using the ingredients available to us as necessary,is appropriate.

First a little background information.Cooking in a professional kitchen involves each menu item being broken down into its basic constituents,ingredients prepped,some par cooked,ready to be put together as required to form the finished dish.An organised prep fridge will reveal a myriad of little containers all lined up like soldiers,ready for the onslaught.Mise en Place.A good chef runs his kitchen with military precision.Service is the battle, any deviation from the plan can result in devastation and chaos.

Then,there are those who wish to make that foray into the unknown and "order off menu" for reasons best known to themselves.

There are certain rules to observe if you wish to pursue this route and avoid incurring the wrath of the kitchen.


Firstly,choose from the selection of ingredients which are available on the menu i.e. if you don't see it on the menu its unlikely we will have said item lurking in the back of the fridge.And, if we did, you probably wouldn't want to eat it.Quelle surprise!if its not on the menu we surely ain't going to buy it in...Would you??
Its called making a profit.

Secondly,choose your time.Its polite to avoid a complicated list of special requirements on a busy Saturday night service.Whilst chopping fresh tarragon and whisking egg yolks to make a Bearnaise sauce, for example, isn't difficult, it may well be infeasible whilst other orders are piling on and the actual items on menu are being cooked.In the kitchen we like things"close to the wire",it makes it more interesting,but we don't want the wire to snap.
Its called having consideration.

Thirdly, don't take the proverbial.If you ring ahead and reserve a table the assumption is that you will be having a meal.Diners who reserve tables are given preferential treatment in the table pecking order and on some occasions,if their luck is in, may well hit the prime table jackpot.So,if all you fancy is a couple of bowls of chips,just chance your luck on the day.
You know it makes sense.


Lastly,don't turn up late then expect to order a menu which bears no resemblance to the one provided,thus resulting in diners booked in afterwards who have had the decency to arrive on time,suffering delays.As Chef says:If they want to write the menu themselves why don't they stay at home and cook it themselves.
Its called manners.

Today we welcomed the mothers of all "order off menu" diners,during a very busy Saturday lunchtime service.
They booked a table in advance(for four).
They perused the menu.
There was "nothing they liked"
Here is the order:



I kid you not.
Note the smiley face symbol.This is kitchen code,it means:Please don't shout at me and/or send me back to tell them they cant have it.

An order such as this solicits either or all of the following responses usually in this order:

Who are they?(So we can make note for future reference)
What do they look like?(Any obvious outward signs of Merrick style abnormality that set them apart from the mass)
Where are they sitting?(So that we might glimpse the abomination ourselves)

But no,they look quite normal.

On this occasion there was a split second of hesitation as Chef took in the order.Self:We don't have to do it...Chef:Lets just do it and get rid of them....


Later, when things weren't quite so hectic, Chef peered through the prison like glass slit in the regulation fire retardant door which delineates Front of House from kitchen territory.
Look at them..munching on their fried egg sarnies,sitting in the prime spot....The bleepers.

Beam me up Scottie..

What I ate yesterday.

7am
Mug of Earl Grey Tea
(Don't bother speaking to me until I've had this)


8.30am
Glass of Cranberry and soda

10am
Bacon and grilled tomato sarnie made with 2 slices gluten free bread
Cappucino
Total Calories:500

Midday
Roast beef and Horseradish sarnie/2 slices gluten free bread
Mrs Crimbles gluten free chocolate brownie
Black coffee
Total calories:550

4.00pm
Half a bag of Mature Cheddar and red onion kettle chips(Family size)
Shared in the car with Chef en route to collecting Wheels from detention an appointment at school.Hmm, these taste fatty, says Chef.Yes, but fat is flavour.Agreed.
Total calories:500 (crikey)




5.30pm
Bowl of gluten free pasta with roasted celeriac and spring greens,
in a creamy sauce with wine and Parmesan
Bowl of mixed leaves with tomatoes,olives,red onion,French dressing.
Total calories:600



8.30pm
Three scoops of Panacotta and fudge ice cream,with double cream.
Black coffee
Total calories:350



11pm
Large glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
Regular pkt of McCoys.
Small pot of mixed olives marinated in chilli,red peppers,Herbs de Provence,garlic and olive oil.(Couldn't resist,made them this afternoon)
Total calories:300




In addition,grazing throughout the day,chips(probably a portion in total,tasting sauces and various other dishes).
Total calories:400

Also-3 bottles fizzy water:0 calories(toot toot!)


Note:I have approximated the calorific value after seeking advice on the internet.I haven't included drinks in the estimate,other than the Capuccino.

Do you think that's too much??
I wonder what you ate yesterday..

Chef's Nuts

No.. not those ones.Tut tut.Shame on you...If you've arrived here via some dubious google search,looking for gratuitous thrills this is not the place, so be off with you.

No folks,today a recipe,well,not so much a recipe,more of a suggestion.

We created these little plumptous beauties(sorry Nigella),as a bar snack.They are especially delicious served with cocktails.Mine's a Gin Martini made with Plymouth gin and an olive please.

Whoever was it that said "a good Martini is an olive with an alcohol rub"?Perfect metaphor.

First buy a selection of natural nuts..Pleease....I'm beginning to realise now this would be the perfect subject for Nigella ...Glances coyly at camera.



I bought mine at Waitrose.I look nothing like the other ladies shopping in their Anthropologie frocks,but what the hell,my money's as good as theirs.Or so Chef says..

For this batch we used peanuts and cashews.Almonds work really well also,it depends how solvent you are.

Next,place them in a baking tray and add:

Garlic cloves-bash them with the back of a knife to release the flavour but leave them whole(don't peel).

Fresh herbs(we used rosemary,thyme as we had them in the garden)
-use whatever you fancy,within reason, garden mint for example might not be the best idea.Woody type herbs are best,aim for a dry roasted effect.


Maldon sea salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Place in a moderate oven for around 15-20mins


Serve either:

a.immediately when warm-with cocktails; the smell is utterly delectable.

or

b.parcel up into small pots and sell at the bar,they make a very classy bar snack.




Note:if you plan to eat as a snack later/sell its best to place in a sealed container for a few days,shaking regularly to allow the flavours to permeate before selling/eating.

That is, if you can wait that long...

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps

This weeks kitchen escape lead us to Hadrians Wall for a bracing walk.The Chap came too.



Hadrians Wall is a world Heritage site.The wall attracts over 1 million visitors every year, from all over the world.




In another life, I worked in PR for the National Trust and was based on the Wall for a season,hence the place is close to my heart.



There are two hostelries along the most visited stretch of the Wall between Steel Rigg and Houseteads;The Twice Brewed and The Milecastle Inn.
On past form, the Milecastle was the better bet for some post walk refreshments.
A quick glance over the menu(chalked on a board)revealed I might struggle here.I have Coeliac disease,which I know is my problem,not theirs.I prefer to think of it more as a condition than a disease, as when managed I suffer no ill effects.Management means eradicating all gluten from my diet.This isn't difficult when cooking at home, but can be more of a challenge when eating out.
Scanning most menus, I can usually identify immediately whether its going to be safe to eat.Basically, the main problem is "bought in" foods.Most contain wheat flour,or gluten in some form.The menu at the Milecastle boasted lots of different pie varieties,plus scampi,lasagne and that traditional British pub favourite Chicken Tikka Masala, experience told me this wasn't a place where the menu was cooked from scratch.
No problem,Ill just have some snacks,peanuts, crisps,and a cup of tea please,a healthy lunch.I went to take a seat in the beer garden,enjoying the view with the Chap, whilst Chef went to purchase said refreshments.





The Milecastle is in a stunning location.



Chef arrived presently with a solitary packet of plain crisps and a lager for each of us.




What no peanuts? or tea? They must have been exceptionally busy.
No, advised Chef,the only snack they sell are plain crisps and they don't serve tea, only coffee.Why not?? Any caterer knows that tea costs pence to serve and the GP margin is excellent.Much better than coffee which is also easy money.High yield for little effort.Whoever heard of a pub with no nuts? Don't they know that nuts make people thirsty=buy more drinks?

We were the only ones there.Apart from a group of three ladies drinking pints of lager during a pleasant Monday lunchtime session,empties stacked up on the table.I wondered if they were killing time before collecting their offspring from school.I'm not one to judge of course.

As the 3663 man wheeled his delivery to the back door of the pub, I dispelled all lingering thoughts that the usual snack selection were simply sold out.The three depressing boxes of Walkers plain crisps,amongst the various boxes of tinned and dry goods,enough to last until next week,said it all.

A good customer of ours, an energetic character who owns a successful wet led pub chain(applause), once gave me a very good piece of advice:

"Every person that walks through the door is an opportunity,don't just give them what they ask for, ask yourself every time,what else can I sell them?"

I couldn't help thinking that here was a place that wasn't taking advantage of the opportunities they have.Take away the unique location, the Wall and a captive audience, I wondered how they would fare.

Today, I was contacted by a call centre,gathering survey data on the current state of the pub trade in Britain.She informed me that another pub closes every 6 hours in Britain.
I'm not surprised.What do you think?

Hearty food in Hexhamshire

Monday(except for Bank Holidays) is our day off.Today The Chap had an appointment to meet for a much needed bath and trim at his favourite pooch parlour.
Once collected and smelling decidedly fresher and more delicious than he had done, we headed out in search of an inspiring countryside walk and hopefully some lunch afterwards.

By noon we found ourselves south of Hexham in Slaley forest enjoying breathtaking views and bracing weather.The chap was in his element though the thirty quid spent on the pampering was a complete waste of time as his first action was to cock his leg in a particularly awkward spot and immediately pee all over his front leg...
Add to the mix a procession of muddy pools and dusty rabbit holes which were enthusiastically investigated and things were soon back square one.



The chap and me,note the attire(Barbour and Hunters),as you can see we are enjoying classic English summertime weather.The temperature struggled to reach 7C and we actually experienced a hail storm..is it really May?




Smile for the camera!

Close to Slaley forest is Slaley Hall Hotel,a typical"luxury" country house hotel and golf resort,we could have chosen to lunch there but fancied something more relaxed.A short car journey through Whitley Chapel,a tiny hamlet in the heart of rural Hexhamshire,a couple of miles further heading towards Hexham and we found ourselves at The Dipton Mill Inn.



The Dipton Mill Inn is a tpical chocolate box, ivy covered pub the likes of which you dont find very often these days.Inside two fires roar away at either end of the small room which features old photographs and horse brasses.A collection of tiny tables and red velvet upholstered chairs which have seen better days, add to the cosy ambience.Apparantly an episode of the 1960s comedy series The Likely Lads was filmed here.I dont think the pub has changed much since then,Bob and Terry wouldnt have looked out of place at the bar.The gastropub revolution has passed by the Dipton mill Inn without a hint of its soullessness(is that a word?) taking seed here(thank god), no sign of any background music either to disturb the general banter, much from the landlord himself.
The owners have been dispensing hospitality here for 18 years in their own distinctive style.The landlord brews his own beer with most named after local beauty spots,with his wife providing home cooked meals and sandwiches from a kitchen glimpsed behind the bar.She also serves the food.You can also get a decent glass of wine here (my bench mark of a good pub).

A blackboard displays the meals on offer.The cooked meals looked simple but appetising,the type of food your Mum(if shes any kind of Mum) would cook.
Chef chose a simple ham and cheese sandwich,the ham was home baked and sliced generously,and came with a bit of salad and some crisps(a snip at £2.50).




I went for a ploughmans(£6.20):- "one, two or three cheeses the choice is yours" said the menu, I was presented with a list of about 12 ( mainly local cheeses) and asked to select my choices.I went for a Cotherstone from just over the border in Barnard Castle,Durham and an Elsdon Goats cheese from Northumberland.Two huge wedges of cheese(no wonder I sport womanly curves) together with salad,pickles, crusty brown bread and some good old Branston Pickle.



We retired to enjoy our food in the pretty sunken garden which features a mill race and several picnic sets.




The Chap joined us.




Worcester Sauce and sundried tomato flavour arent my crisp of choice...



We were the only ones brave enough to sit outside.

The food was simple but the integrity of the ingredients shone through.What a refreshing change to enjoy fresh,quality ingredients,simply served without adornment in such a lovely setting.Here is a place that has gone back to basics and cares about what they put on the plate rather than creating an elaborate presentation of mediocre produce displayed on overpriced crockery.
As chef succinctly put it "Thats exactly what I want to eat at lunchtime!"




Steak sarnies sold today-0 (Its Monday)