Schadenfreude (Part 2)

It never ceases to amaze me the volume and diversity of items which vanish on a regular basis from the pub.
Despite initial surprise we have now accepted that the regular 'lifting' of items by the public is an occupational hazard of running a pub.
Shopping for everyday items such as condiment receptors,at one time based on the suitability of said item for it's designated purpose, is now based principally on the criteria 'how easily can this be concealed about ones person or in a handbag.'
For example,having a large garden,miniature salt/pepper mills were purchased in our first year as handy for staff to carry outside for Al Fresco diners.By the end of the first summer there were none left.
Recently on the same afternoon a tub of hand cream and an Oil reed diffuser were surreptitiously appropriated from the ladies loo.Hopefully the 'lady' in question will have an exceedingly oily but pleasantly fragranced handbag by now.

On the other side of the coin the public are also exceptionally careless with their own belongings.Everything from coats,jumpers,umbrellas,gloves and even on one occasion a pair of shoes(I wonder how inebriated one has to be to exit minus these) have been left behind.
I now have so many spectacles, I'm beginning to think alcohol must possess sight restorative properties.Periodically, I pay our local charity shops a visit to unburden the ever increasing cache of lost property.
Chef says I have a season ticket for Oxfam.

Some things are just too good to part with though, I'm currently 'looking after' a couple of pairs of unclaimed sunglasses.Ray Ban and Oakley's.
There's also a delightful Paul and Shark jacket,a Barbour and a lovely John Partridge ladies waxed jacket(would you believe in my size?)

Whilst the regular offloading of customers unclaimed personal effects now elicits no remorse,there is a certain item of lost property which neither myself nor any of the staff can bring themselves to discard.

This is it:



Its been pinned to our check board in the bar for at least six months as witnessed by the myriad of pin holes in the card from repeated removal and replacement.

This is the wording:

'I BEAR-LY know how to apologise,but hope you will not be too GRIZZLY or GRUFF with me,and will instead enjoy the bright colours of these Midget Gems and forget that I ever vomited on any of your clothes nor left you one dancer down in Perdu.'

If ever I'd ever been the auspicious recipient of such an apology I should have treasured it,to quote another Northerner this is 'right up my street'.

Have you ever 'lifted' anything from your local?

Comments

I would never take anything that wasn't complimentary. I would feel really ashamed to do that.
Love the bear :)
*kisses* HH
I'm guilty. Only for beer mats though. I used to have quite a collection.
I usually leave my wallet wherever I go, but i haven't lost any shoes yet.....
oh god yes! used to regularly take home cutlery from my local but this was back in my student days when I had miss-matched everything!... but then i'm ALWAYS leaving stuff everywhere I go but I guess that's Karma huh?
No never. I was very close to temptation last week. Our favourite local restaurant had obviously had a visit from their condiments sales rep who had supplied them with new ashtrays. Small simple white round ceramic ashtray with black logo of the olive oil and vinegar company Esparao. The image is a graphic of a medieval castle. Very simple very modern and extremely pocketable.On my best behaviour I went to pay the bill with an ashtray in my hand and asked if I could have it. A Spanish customer standing next to me said take it its yours. The mangement said I couldn´t have it this time but They would ask the rep for some more the next time he came. It obviously pays to be honest. When we had our cafe franchise in London we constantly lost the small salt and pepper grinders you mention
I have to admit to quite often leaving places with my drink tucked under my arm if I haven't finished it. I find the glasses in my skip of a handbag later... I'm always forgetting things but have never managed to lose my shoes. Yet. I love the bear!! Hope you're good xx
FortyNotOut said…
Not from my local but I do remember taking a set of salt and pepper pots on the dance floor once in a restaurant years ago. Clearly much younger... and very drunk!
OOh you are all so well behaved,I wish you were my customers!

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