Politically incorrect post

Chef tells me that Andy Gray has been the Face of Sky Sport Football for 20 years,that being the case,I cant imagine that in the whole of that 20 years there hasn't been another occasion when he and Richard(wax m'hands please) Keys have been overheard to enjoy a similar blatantly sexist exchange of views.

(BTW has anyone else noticed that Marcus Wareing seems to be similarly challenged,on the hair front?

Sporting arms reminiscent of  an AW10 Shearling jacket must pose a potentially dangerous fire hazard in any kitchen,worthy surely of a mention in the legally required Fire Risk Assessment.Makes me wonder how much cooking he actually does given that our lower arms are permanently hair free due to being singed on a daily basis.Though he could possibly be wearing gauntlets at the stove...)

Not that I'm condoning their Neanderthal banter,of course,but the publication of Gray and Keys' conversation must be viewed as a timely occurrence with perhaps more focus on monetary matters than any real outrage from Sky Sports.Gray was ripe for the flick,I hope he's the first male victim of the ageism on telly vendetta.

Coincidentally, I used to work in professional sport and in my experience their exchange was moderately mild compared to some of the conversations I've witnessed,and I'm not just talking of the male contingent here.A particularly memorable occasion which springs to mind being a back office discussion following a visit from a representative of a well known lingerie company, tasked to kit out the team with some trendy smalls(or not so small as later proven).The ensuing discussion debated the comparative attributes of  various  members of the team,with one notable individual being singled out for particular praise attention due to apparently being(Yeee-haaa!!) 'hung like a donkey....'.

In consideration of the vociferous and often over enthusiastic language interactions which occur regularly during particularly fraught times,in the event of our kitchen being bugged, Chef says we'd have no other option than to sack each other..

We experienced our own little politically incorrect incident last Sunday.In the midst of the usual manically busy lunchtime service this note was passed to the kitchen.My apologies in advance for any offence caused by the terminology,which is clearly outdated.To be fair the chap who penned this will have had no intention of it being bandied about the internet,but given that he's already retired, the danger of any resultant sacking is nil.

I posted the note on twitter,off the cuff, as it had given us a laugh.As a result I've unexpectedly  received pressure from certain parties to post a photo of said 'hot chef.'
There is no way I would dare post a photo of Chef for public perusal as:

a.posting pictures of Chef on line has landed me in trouble before.When facebook first became popular I created myself an account,but had no friends so(as you do), I created a profile for Chef and then made friends with myself.Subsequently Chef was inundated with e mail notifications of friend requests from an assortment of ex colleagues,school friends and other random people that he had no recollection of.He was actually quite ticked off,instructing me to take the thing down immediately lest people think him ignorant for not replying.

b.he knows I write this blog but is blissfully unaware of the content or even that he features heavily in a starring role.In addition, he doesn't agree with Facebook or Twitter(I have enough friends-why would I want any more??)so would be most displeased to find his portrait up here.

Image is so important  isn't it?I was once asked to provide a current photo with a job application and was so enraged that my physical appearance might be a factor in securing me the post that I cut a photograph of an attractive model from a magazine and stuck it to the application form.When I arrived for the interview I could see the interviewer glancing quizzically and repeatedly at my application form, with furrowed brow.
So, in the spirit of this little escapade and by way of a consolation, I thought I'd source a couple of tasty Chef pictures instead from the interwebs.

[cough]I've always had a bit of a thing for The Great White.Though lately admittedly he and I haven't exactly been seeing eye to eye. In the past I've overlooked his inept and at times tedious overuse of the word 'proper' within his menus,though he must be held responsible for the gut wrenchingly distasteful use of this word on many gastropub menus:
'Proper Prawn Cocktail' [sic] ick....
An example of the offending usage seen here in the form 'properly'

Which appeared in here...

FYI this apparently is the 'proper' way to garnish smoked salmon..

Lets also draw a veil over his Shepherd in the Nativity play period and just thank God he drew the line at the dressing gown..Ditto the Knorr stock cube episode..and please,don't even mention turkey twizzlers...

If I'm honest his main attraction was always his applaudable reluctance to answer the call of TV Chefdom and his somewhat enigmatic maintenance of some semblance of anonymity.

That and the Bob Carlos Clarke photos.

Has there ever been a hotter Chef?

Pity he failed to identify his USP....

In other news and continuing synchronistically with the non PC theme, we've advertised for staff and have intriguingly had an application from one Mr David Brent.
Cant wait to check out his moves meet him for interview.
More later...


Oh for f*€ks sake take a f*€king picture!
Pavel said…
In all honesty that sky sports exchange, though I don't condone it, was pretty mild stuff.

I heard far worse on a daily basis in kitchens, you are right it is outdated and shouldn't happen but like your retired note passer it takes people time to change!
Very funny post. I'm dying to see a pic of chef! Why has Marcus STILL got such hairy arms?

And I used to eat in the days when Marco was at Harvey's. God! He was HOT!!!! xx
Aren't all chefs hot? At least for some portion of the working day:)
As I will be darkening your door some time in April, I'll have to sneak a shot. Applications for pictures will be acknowledged if posted to me on the back of LARGE DENOMINATION NOTE.
Young at Heart said…
oooh I've always thought MPW rather tasty too. My friend had to interview him once and said she was there for over an hour and he never drew breath, she thanked him and said she had to go and still he chatted on, even followed her out to the taxi and was still going as she sped away......
Alison Cross said…
I think that you should post a picture of the chef - even if only for a couple of days, just to let us see him.

He must be hot if a couple of chaps have been made aware of him.

I demand a photo.......

I'll show you mine if you show me yours (Tertarus too will absolutely flay me alive if I put up a photo. Also he is not hot. He is not lukewarm.)
Mrs P said…
I can identify with chef's need for no pictures, I don't really have any of me on mine, and the lovely man is in dark glasses in the one photo of him. Re the sexist stuff, I think there was another agenda at Sky, I think respect is a good thing, but so is a sense of humour and vive la difference anyway x
Grazing Kate said…
from Andy Gray via MPW to David Brent. Highly entertaining as always - you do make me laugh!

And I'm now really intrigued to see a pic of Chef!!

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