The Coronavirus Diaries

It's only five days since we closed the doors of the pub yet it seems like a lifetime ago.
God knows when/if we will open them again.
In the space of a few weeks this virus has gone from 'its just the flu' to a sweeping force which has put a stop to life as we know it.
Ive been keeping busy with the garden and avoiding binge watching the never ending news updates restricting myself to twice a day Breakfast news and the daily Boris show-enough to keep informed but not enough to have me in a constant state of panic.
I've had a gradual realisation  that this is our generation's World War and the fact that we are living through  history made me think I might as well document it.
Thankfully our house is pleasingly relatively isolated so following Boris' instruction to socially distance 2 metres (6 feet in old money) from other human life was no big deal.
In reality the vast majority of the population read 'stay at home other than for essential supplies and to exercise' as 'head out to the countryside for a stroll/cycle/run'.
Reader, in one day I saw more people pass my garden gate than I have in the last 2 years, it was more akin to Clapham junction than the usual bucolic calm we're used to.
The Chap spent the whole day barking at a succession of startled day trippers.
Particularly galling was the family of four who set off across the farmers recently ploughed field adjacent to our house.
'Good luck with that one if he spots them' said Chef..
I've spent every day in the garden and have AVOIDED at all costs the supermarket, picking up supplies from our local Co-op and butchers which are both fully stocked due to restrictions on the amount of items you can buy.The checkout woman told me that some are filling their baskets with the quota then going out putting the stuff in the boot then coming back in again!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
Today the Coop introduced a 'one in one out' rule it was weird to see a queue of people outside waiting for their slot, all 2 metres apart and staring vacantly ahead, it was like a scene from Shaun of the Dead,I turned the car around and went to the garage which was FULLY STOCKED with groceries wine, crisps and chocolate and pleasingly empty apart from the extra staff restocking the shelves. I had a slight wobble when I paid with cash and didn't want to touch the change proffered so hurriedly grabbed the booze and ket and told the bemused lad on the till to put the change (over £5 ) in the charity box..I could see him furiously sanitising the counter through the window and glancing nervously outside, probably wondering if the virus affected peoples brains too...
At least our nation of shopkeepers is doing ok out of this thing.
We have zero food in the house due to being in the middle of a protracted kitchen refurb and having no cooker, sink or washing machine..
The toilet roll shortage has been well documented however, pleased to say we are fully stocked and haven't even started on the blue centre feed roll (niche catering product)or table napkins yet!


Thankfully the weather has been idyllic 17 degrees today its as if Mother Earth knows we need help..
This afternoon Chef appeared with a brand new Black and Decker drill an optimistic  Christmas present from his Dad gifted in December 2016 which had not yet seen the light of day.
After reading the instruction manual-'how to insert the bit' he managed to construct a rudimentary contraption designed to sieve the compost heap for dispersal on the vegetable garden.

Functional sieve

'I don't think much of your dove tails' I said
However miraculously the thing WORKED a treat and during the process we filtered out some lovely Maris Pipers which had been positively THRIVING in the abundant nutrients.

Appetising spuds

We'll have them on the BBQ for tea'
'Erm.. well no I don't think so' said Chef
Well I know now what the late night visits to the veg garden were all about... as Chef said its liquid gold...'only following National Trust instructions...'
SIGH.