Sunday, 29 March 2020

Thursday 26th March 2020

The new cooker turned up today which was AMAZING given that Boris has decreed that all non essential work must stop.There seems to be a lot of debate about what IS essential work-at the minute some building trades seem to be going on. Of course I would argue that having no cooking facilities is an essentialwork.The builder doing the kitchen work sat in the van for two hours watching to see when the cooker people left.
'I don't want to be around strangers' he said..
I wondered if strangers were any more likely to pass on the virus than family or friends and recalled the weird Madonna in the bath video rant that I'd watched earlier on in the day about how 'coronavirus is the great equaliser'.
Well exactly..we all sit naked in the bath filming ourselves wearing nothing but rose petals on our bits in times of national crisis ..
As usual Chef asked me what my plans were for the day.
I turned off the news.
'I'm going to trim the prickly bush'
Which raised a slight titter.
I spent the whole day on the garden again, weeding and cutting back HARD rose bushes and climbers.I don't worry too much about the buds they always seem to come back stronger from a good prune 18 inches above the ground if you're interested.
And if you have your own organic compost which you've lovingly fed for two years ALL THE BETTER.
What you need actually is two compost heaps.One to decompose and one to fill with all the veg trimmings, some cardboard-egg boxes are great, newspapers, teabags, coffee grinds and also the aforementioned secret ingredient..
When you start off it takes two years for the first to be ready, but once you've got to this stage you have one to fill and one that you're using.

Quality sieved compost

I have HIGH hopes for the produce this year as we also had a shitload of manure delivered a few weeks ago which we spread all over the veg patch.Bit whiffy at the time but you get used to it..
Whatever you do though DO NOT,I repeat,DO NOT spread farmyard mature on the area that you plan to plant root veg such as carrots.
If you do the tender young carrots will not be strong enough to fight their way straight through the bits of straw and you will end up with RUDE carrots..chortle..
*plants carrots in manure* 
News today;Prince Charles has Covid 19 this promoted a deluge of jokes most of questionable taste which I dare not repeat on here other than :
'Prince Charles has tested positive for COVID 19, however Prince Andrew has decided not to be tested and just sweat it out' haha.
At 8pm we all went outside to clap for the NHS which was nice if a little lacking in atmosphere up here,I couldn't help thinking it was a poor substitute for sufficient protective clothing for them.

I saw a  woman on the news in Russia who was happy to go into church and not observe the social distancing rules 'as the virus could not be spread in church' ..and Reader, SHE WAS A DOCTOR..
Maybe it's time we all found God.

Planted the early potatoes today; Maris Pipers and Pink Firs and returned the rancid compost heap specimens we found yesterday back on this years compost....


Vivianne said...

I see what you did there - "a shitload of manure" 🤣🤣

Happiness Faith Monday said...

Hello everyone here in this forum i am so happy to share my testimony on how Dr idahosa was able to cure me completely from HIV Disease, well i was tested positive on 11th June 2017, and ever since i have been looking for a way to treat and cure this disease from me, but all ways i try there was no solution, few weeks ago i saw a testimony of some people on how Dr idahosa was able to cure them from HIV and many others disease, still on i heard about it on media when a young lady also gave her testimony about this same Dr, well left with no hope i message Dr idahosa telling him all my problems, he told me what we where going to do, that he was going to send me a portion which i am going to take, and after which i took this herbs portion he sent to me, he told me to go back to the hospital for check up and after i have done that i should come and tell him the good news result, at first when i saw the message i was so shock and still did not believed i will be cured, well friends to make my story short i am HIV negative now after many time of sorrow, i am Negative, and my sickness are gone, i thank God for leading me to this man....
you can email him on ( website: or call his whatsapp number +2348134261542
he can be of help to you on any problems..
Sir may God Bless You.
Dr idahosa told me he has cure for the following diseases in case anyone needs help.
(1) Ulcer
(3) Diabetes
(4) Cancer
(5) Hepatitis
(6) Genital Herpes virus
(7) Penis Enlargement
(8) Hpv
(9) Heart failure
(10) Stroke and others Diseases.

Anonymous said...

Biff, can you endorse the above comment re: treatments? Number seven of particular interest for, a friend, shall we say. If not, and in unrelated news, your fertiliser supply may be further 'beefed up'.

Regards, etc.

Northern Snippet said...

Vivianne- hahahaha

Northern Snippet said...

ANON-I cannot confirm the efficaciousness or otherwise of any product/treatment ..however might one suggest that physical dimension may not be in direct correlation to resultant levels of success achieved? If you know what I mean?? ..

Chris Goulding said...

For some reason I've stopped getting notifications for this blog, so I've only just seen the March post (in June). Enjoyed it, as ever. Fingers crossed that pubs can open soon... 👍🤞


  You know what I’m unexpectedly missing in this weirdest of all runs up to Christmas? The drop ins from friends ,family, suppliers, custom...

favourite posts